


Find What You'd Die For

by dickshapedclouds



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Flirting, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bottom Lance (Voltron), Eventual Smut, F/M, Fights, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), High School, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Piercings, Pining Keith (Voltron), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sleepy Cuddles, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Tags Are Hard, Top Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 21:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14364384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickshapedclouds/pseuds/dickshapedclouds
Summary: Keith falls in love with Lance, but Lance is too busy chasing other girls.Hanahki disease au!I'm v bad with summaries oops.





	1. Chapter 1

 Keith had never been the guy to fall head over heels for someone. He kept to himself. He hid his true feelings so he wouldn't be hurt or hurt others.

That all changed when he laid eyes on a new student. Lance McClain. 

After the sunkissed male had arrived in class the 3rd week into the new school year he sat himself next to Keith.

"This seat isn't taken is it?" he asked.

"Nope," Keith mumbled simply.

Lance said no more, instead he tapped his foot against the tiled floor. He seemed very anxious. 

Keith wanted to glare at the boy, but he turned and saw the most beautiful person he had seen.

_shit._ Keith thought to himself, his heart was pounding.

"Kogane," Iverson barked out.

"Yea?" Keith quirked an eyebrow, his attention now on the instructor.

"Keep your eyes off the newbie," 

Everyone around him laughed, except for Lance and Hunk. He could feel everybody's eyes burning him. His face turned bright red and he let out a small huff of air.

Iverson continues on with the lecture. Keith takes notes absent-mindedly, eyes trained on his paper and the board.

At the end of the day, Keith rushes out of the school. His backpack hanging off of one shoulder, he waits patiently for Shiro to show up. Spotting the sleek black car, he hops in.

"Iverson is a fucking cunt, I swear to you one day I'm gonna fucking gouge one of his eyes out," Keith was radiating with anger.

"Language," Shiro warned.

"Oh bite me Takashit,"

"So what happened?" 

"He called me out,"

"On? He wouldn't call you out if you hadn't done anything. Keith what the fuck did you do?"

"I was staring at the new kid," he muttered, pouting and looking out the window.

"Keith, I know you're a raging homosexual and want a hot guy to fuck you, but shit man. You gotta calm down and focus on your studies."

"TAKASHI!" Keith shouts, his face dark red.

"I'm just kidding with you. What do you want for dinner? New kid dick?"

"I hate you." 

"Yeah I do too. Now does spaghetti sound good?"

"Yeah." 

 

The next day, Keith rides his motorcycle to the school. Leather jacket zipped tight around his body, red helmet over his head.

When he gets there, he parks and places the helmet on the seat. He stretches and rubs at his eyes. Keith was beyond tired.

He spots Pidge and snickers.

"Yo Pidge!" he grins.

They turn around clutching a coffee, eyebags dark behind their large glasses.

"Keith, I swear on Rover, shut the fuck up or I will stab you with my glasses lens,"

"Yeesh, you pull an all nighter?"

"Yeah, I was trying to double encrypt some shit and hack into Iverson's files," they sigh.

"Ah shit, sounds fun. Speaking of Iverson, he called me out yesterday,"

"Oogling McClain?" they grin.

"I- shut up,"

"Hunk told me, he said you turned red. Lance was confused on why him of all people,"

"He's pretty," Keith shrugs.

Pidge laughs and takes a long drink of their coffee. The scalding hot drink sliding down their throat.

They part to their separate classes. Pidge going to Biology, Keith going to World History. Lance was sat in his seat.

"Wrong seat," Keith muttered.

"Ah shit, sorry," 

"Its fine," 

"Anyone sit right here?" Lance points to the next seat over.

Keith shakes his head.

"Alright cool," Lance smiles.

Keith's heart pounds and his face flushes. He bites at his lip, blood drying and sealing his lips like glue.

When the bell rings to dismiss class, Keith runs out into the hall and doesn't stop until he reaches the empty janitors closet. He opens it and slams it shut behind him.

Panting, he locks the door and slides down.

"What is this feeling?" he whispers to himself. 

He stays there until the end of the day. When he exits he goes to find Pidge.

"Where were you, dude?" Pidge exclaimed, their glasses low on the bridge of their nose.

"Janitors closet," Keith mumbled.

"Weirdo, anyways, Lance was talking about you in class. About how you ran out of World History,"

"What'd he say?"

"He asked Hunk if he smelled bad," Pidge snorts.

Keith rolls his eyes and hops onto his bike.

"Come play video games later, Hunk is gonna bring Lance over," Pidge grinned.

"Fine," Keith sighs.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Keith staggers into his and Shiro's place. He was beyond exhausted, but Pidge wanted him to hang out. He couldn't say no. Well he could, but Pidge would probably murder him.

"Shiro, I'm gonna hang out with Pidge in a bit,"

"Alright, Allura is coming over so make sure you stay out late," Shiro winks.

"Disgusting," Keith gags and rushes to his room. 

He strips out of his black flannel and replaces his plain black undershirt with a band shirt. He scratches at his scalp and yawns. He switches his black converse hightops for a pair of black boots.

Keith grabs his grey messenger bag, a bag of hot cheetos, and some clothes. He then grabs his key to his bike and stomps down the stairs.

"Stop stomping, I don't want crazy cat bitch on my hands," Shiro sighs, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No can do Takashit," Keith grins and races out of the house.

 

 

 

When he arrives at Pidge's their brother Matt opens the door.

"Hey man," Keith smiles.

"Sup, Pidge is in the living room. Have fun fellow alien brethren," Matt smiles.

Keith snorts and trots passed the taller male. He screams as he dabs into the living room, not expecting Lance to be there yet.

"What the fuck?" Lance was flabbergasted.

"That my new friend, is Keith,"

"Excuse me while I- yEET-" Keith runs, but he can't outrun Pidge.

Pidge fucking bolts and grabs Keith's by the ankles.

"MERCY FUCKING MERCY!" Keith screams.

"SAY UNCLE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Pidge cackles.

"Just how many drugs are they on?" Lance whispers to Hunk.

"All of them, buddy, all of them," Hunk sighs, shaking his head slowly. He stands up and pops his knuckles.

"Pidge- did you hear that?" Keith was shook.

"Wh-" they can't finish when Hunk grabs them by the ankles and swings them onto the couch. 

"OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU!"

Pidge fucking screams. Keith yodels. Lance sits there trying to decide between screaming, laughing, or crying.

"I swear to god if the cops get called again I will fucking send all of you to space to die," Matt scolds them.

"Sorry, Cryptid pal,"

"Nah, its fine alien brethren," 

"Matt's gay for you Keith,"

"Pidge for the last time I'm not gay," Matt sighs

Pidge rolls their eyes and shrugs.

"Okay now that everything has settled, lets play some quality games," Hunk grins.

By 9pm they're playing Minecraft and crying. 

"KEITH THERE'S A FUCKING CREEPER STOP!" Lance screeches.

"Good, maybe he can destroy my ass," 

"Keith- no," Hunk sighs.

"Your gay is showing,"

"When isn't it?" Keith raises an eyebrow.

 Lance glances at his phone and bolts up.

"FUCK!" He shouts before grabbing his backpack and dashing out of Pidge's house.

"Uhh- do I wanna ask?" Keith turns to Hunk.

"He's got a curfew," Hunk snorts.

"Oh my god!" Pidge laughs.

Keith yawns and looks at his phone.

"I'm gonna head out, but first I gotta call Takashit to make sure he's not fucking Allura," he sighs and texts Shiro.

It takes a moment for him to get a reply, so they continue to play Minecraft.

"You better come back this weekend," Pidge glares.

"I'll try,"

"Hot cheetos will be involved," 

"WOAH UHHH- suddenly my schedule of sleeping is free," 

"Better be. Now, go get some sleep Keef,"

"Bye Keith!" Hunk smiles.

"Bye guys, see you tomorrow,"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this.   
> Both times I've written this chapter I've been half asleep.  
> Sorry for it being so uhm crack-fic-ish.  
> Like literally when I wrote about Keith screaming and dabbing it was like 6am and I had gotten maybe 2 hours of sleep before waking up at 3.   
> I didn't go to sleep until 8am that day and I woke up at 1pm just to stay up until like midnight.
> 
> I have very unhealthy sleeping habits lmao.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday. The holy grail of the week. 

Keith literally fell asleep in all of his classes. One teacher kept waking him up resulting in him calling the teacher Shiro and telling him to shut up.

"Kogane!" the teacher shouted

"No," Keith grumbled, shoving his face in his arms, shielding his eyes from the light.

"Excuse me?"

"Takashit I said no, shut the fuck up,"

A student snorted, specifically Pidge.

"Sir, I believe that Keith is sleep talking. He tends to do this any time someone wakes him up," 

The teacher sighed, continuing on with the lecture.

At lunch Pidge didn't let Keith live that moment down.

"You absolute fucking idiot!" Pidge laughed, their whole body shaking with it.

"Wow the gremlin has feelings," Keith grinned.

"Shut up," they squint.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

At the end of the day, Pidge took a hold of Keith and pulled him to Hunk's car. Lance already sat up front, talking to Hunk, hands moving wildly. 

"Is he fucking Italian?" Keith deadpans.

"Uh, no," Pidge laughs.

"Then tell him to stop, only the Italian gremlin can do hand motions," Keith squints, slowly sliding into the car.

"Keith!" Hunk smiles.

"What's up big guy?" Keith smiles, high fiving the other male.

"Ah nothing much, Lance was talking about your sleep talking,"

"Does everyone know about that?" 

"Thanks to me!" Pidge grins, sliding in next to Keith.

"Hunk, give me the aux,"

"I don't trust you, but okay," Hunk hesitantly hands the aux cord to Keith.

Keith grins and plugs it into his phone, immediately putting on the zoo pals plate song on. The whole car booming with the ear rape.

"KEITH THIS IS WORSE THAN MCR PLEASE NO!" Hunk shouts.

Keith laughs and turns it off, switching it to the mentioned band. 

"He's emo and has a mullet, god how bad can this guy get?" Lance laughs, talking mainly to Hunk.

"You're jealous of my mullet admit it," 

"Mullets are no bueno for the ladies,"

"Good thing I'm not trying to impress women," Keith laughs.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Hunk please tell me you grabbed them," Pidge groaned.

"Yup, the bag is in the trunk,"

"Grabbed what?" Lance asks, turning to Hunk.

"Oh God," Keith struggles to try and get the door open, but Hunk locks them.

"OH MY GOD HUNK YOUR STUPID CHILD LOCKS UNLOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!" Keith screams, he rolls down the window and jumps out, running toward his bike.

"Get 'em Pidge," Hunk snorts.

Pidge grins, grabbing a nerf gun from the back and hops out the window, chasing after Keith.

After about give or take 5 minutes, Keith was back in the car. Breathing heavily, sweat and darts covering his body.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Lance have a 2 hour long Nerf battle. Keith being the first one to leave. Shiro had called and told him he needed to come home while he and Allura went on a date.

He didn't understand why he needed to be home while they were gone, but he wasn't going to question it. It had been about an hour and he was completely alone. Isolated in his room.

He lets out a small sigh, scooping up his phone. He unlocks it and texts the group chat.

 

**keith:** kill me rn

**pidge:** no can do queef

**hunk:** ~~~~yea man can do that

**lance:** i can. want me to come over and like stab you or smth?

**keith:** yes please. come stab me with my rainbow butterfly knife. maybe then i'll die, become ultra gay and come back to life.

**lance:** ur rlly fkn gay jfc. but it's ok im bi we can b gay together

**pidge:** hunk. can you smell it?

**hunk:** sure can pidgeotto

**lance:** smell wht??

**pidge:** the lingering smell of g a y

**keith:** pidge i'll come next door and slap your ass

**keith:** knock knock mofo 

**pidge:** who is it

**hunk:** its gay pidge 

**hunk:** open your door for gay mullet jesus

**pidge:** no thanks 

**lance:** smh bi erasure. 

**lance:** not all of us are gay like keef. also hunk bring me cookies tomorrow pls

**keith:** ayy gotta go

 

Keith puts his phone to the side. Why was his heart racing? Lance, a clear ladies man, bi? He swallows thickly as he feels a tickle in the back of his throat. 

A small cough soon building into a loud one. Lungs aching. He looks down, eyes widening at the blue petals.

"What the fuck..?" 

A small knock on his bedroom door has him scrambling to hide the petals. Before he can, Shiro enters the room.

"Whatcha doin?" Shiro smiles.

"Uhhhhhhhh." 

Keith wheezes, dropping the petals, he puts his hand up to his mouth coughing into it.

"You need cough syrup?"

Keith takes a moment, he looks into his hand to see bloodied rose petals.

"Ha...ain't that pretty..." Keith pants, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he passes out. He falls to the floor with a thud.

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Shiro had let Keith rest. He knew that his brother would be stubborn and wouldn't want the rose removed.

Keith stayed home the whole weekend and Monday.

Pidge and Hunk come banging on the front door after school on Monday.

 "Where have you been? You haven't answered any messages and you didn't come to school. Are you dying?" Pidge shouts.

Hunk holds a bag of tupperware bowls filled of spaghetti. He hands it to Keith and smiles.

 "I know its your favorite besides hot cheetos, so I uh brought it."

Keith smiles at this and coughs into his hand. He takes the bag and leans against the door frame.

 "Awe, you guys have missed me," Keith chuckles.

 "Oh fuck you queef cocaine. You're lucky I love you or you'd be dead on the floor," Pidge glares.

 "Please put me out of my misery."

 "Um? No?? Pidge don't hurt our little Keef," Hunk frowns.

 "Fine," they pout and cross their arms.

 "Hunk you're an angel, but please, let me fucking die you monster," Keith sighs heavily.

"No can do buddy, you get better so you can come back to school," Hunk smiles and pats Keith on the back.

"Yeah man, we need our spicy emo boy or the group isn't complete," Pidge grins.

"Yea yea go away I feel disgusting," Keith mutters, slowly closing the door.

"We better see you on Friday or I'm kicking your ass!" Pidge shouts.

 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Keith was dreading Friday. He kept worrying about what he should wear. What he should do if he just randomly leaves to go throw up petals.

He was undoubtedly nervous. It was no big deal though. Y'know just hanging out with your buddies and throwing up blue rose petals. Totally fine.

Keith sighs and pulls on a pair of black jeans and a red shirt. He hums along to Evanescence that is playing loudly from his speakers. They'd definitely get a noise complaint, but oh well. 

He jams his feet into his black vans and grabs his phone.

 

 **queef cocaine:** what time do you want me over?

 **pidgeotto:** uhh rn?

 **sunshine:** pls lance is crying about a girl and its gross

 **bbybi:** gasp rude nyma isn't gross

 **queef cocaine:** he said it's gross not she's gross

 **pidgeotto:** anywho get over here mullet jesus

Keith turns his phone off and shoves it into his pocket. He turns his music off and heads out of his room.

"Shiro, I'm heading out!" Keith shouts.

"Okay! Be safe!"

"No promises," Keith chuckles and rushes out of the apartment. He walks down the block to the rows upon rows of houses. 

When he gets to Pidge's house, he kicks open the door and screams.

"BABY LOCK THEM DOORS AND TURN THE LIGHTS DOWN LOW!!!" 

"It's here," he hears Pidge laugh.

Ignoring the tickle in his throat when he sees Lance, he throws himself onto a beanbag. 

"Please murder me."

"Then who's gonna eat all these cookies?" Hunk huffs.

"Me!" Lance shouts.

"No, they're for Keith," Pidge mutters.

"Rude."

"Thanks guys," Keith smiles.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Eventually they decide on watching all the Disney movies they can. Starting with Brave because Keith insists that she's the best. That leads into an argument.

"Um, no? Clearly Ariel is. Though I don't understand why she'd wanna be a human. The ocean is so much better," Lance rants about Ariel for like 5 minutes before Pidge throws a pillow at him.

"Rude!" Lance shrieks, throwing the pillow back at Pidge.

"That was the nicest thing they could've done." Keith mutters, he clears his throat when he feels the tickle of rose petals at the back of his throat.

"You still sick?" Hunk tilts his head.

"Yea you could say that." 

"Hope you feel better soon." Lance smiles.

And that breaks it. Keith's eyes widen and he rushes to the bathroom, petals spilling from his lips as soon as he hunches over the toilet.

He coughs and heaves, hands clutching the toilet. He sobs as blood fills into the toilet bowl as well as blue petals.

When he's sure he can't cough up anymore he stands on shaky legs and flushes the toilet. He stands in front of the sink, staring at his pale reflection in the mirror.

Keith sighs, blood splattered on his lips and chin. He clears his throat and washes his hands before washing his face off.

When he gets back into the living room he sits on the floor like nothing ever happened. He was fine. Totally fine.

"You okay, Keith?" Pidge asks.

"Yeah, I thought I was gonna throw up is all. I'm okay." 

"Good."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Keith felt like he was dying. He had gotten stuck right next to Lance. He could smell the earthy scent Lance was giving off.

It reminded Keith a bit of the ocean, the warm sand. It also reminded him of the smell of rain. It was pleasant.

He attempts to hold down the petals as he drifts to sleep. The floor wasn't very comfortable, but he had no other choice.

He was in deep with Lance McClain and there was nothing he could do but wait for the inevitable.

Death was sure to come if he kept the rose, but he couldn't bring himself to get it removed from his lungs. Instead he'd live with the pain of being part of one-sided love.

It was horrible and it was a feeling he never wanted again. He would never wish this upon someone else. Its fear that someone will find out, fear that one day you won't wake up, fear that the roots will puncture your lungs and steal your air.

He hated every single second of each day and it was all Lance's fault. His stupid brown hair, stupid blue eyes, stupid golden skin, and his stupid voice.

Keith would rather die over this. He didn't want to forget the way Lance made him feel. Unrequited love was horrible.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so delayed. A lot has been going on that and I just get distracted very easily.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really sucky. I'm sorry.   
> I skip around a lot and for that I'm v sorry. School isn't interesting at all.


End file.
